There is a lot I don’t want to tell you. I want to conceal the truth. I don’t really want to tell you how I feel, what’s really happened, and what this missionary life is really like. Why? Good question to which I will reply, “Who do you tell the truth to? Who do you open up to?
However, I will tell you. I don’t want to tell you but that probably means I should. So without fear I’ll tell you what I don’t want to tell you. Be warned, this life isn’t rose petals and gum drops. It’s much more stinky socks and black liquorish.
I don’t want to tell you about the stomach bugs, fevers, or viruses that we get. And that I think we get too often.
I don’t want to tell you about the difficulties and hardships of trying to pay in bills in another country.
But if I’m being honest, I really don’t want to tell you about how learning another language can severely strain your marriage. I don’t want to tell you about the arguments, disagreements, and coldness in our marriage.
I don’t want to tell you how difficult it is to raise support, to ask your family and friends for money, and be denied.
I don’t want to tell you about the depression I faced in learning another language.
I don’t want to tell you about the dumb things we have said and the cultural errors we have made.
I couldn’t begin to tell you about the problems I have had with role deprivation. I went from preaching, teaching, and sharing the gospel with ease to struggling to order a pizza. Then after having some language abilities, I struggle to communicate searching for vocabulary only to be misunderstood because I said the right word but I pronounced it incorrectly.
I don’t want to tell you how we have missed home, things at home, and people at home.
I don’t want to tell you how much we spent at a restaurant because we just really wanted an American hamburger.
I don’t want to tell you the problems we have had buying groceries and cooking food.
Why would I tell you these things? I promise you this, none of this looks good in a newsletter. It looks worse on Facebook, and it isn’t going to inspire anyone to partner with you. But you know me, I’m not exactly a conformist. I’ve told you some but I’m going to expand on some of these thoughts in the next couple of weeks. Why? Because each of these isn’t the end of the story. In each of these dark sentiments is a measure of grace that God gives, a grace He gives in abundance. He took these dark times, shined light, and brought about change.
Thanks for going on this journey with me.